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Ankla7
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Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Birthday: 1/7/1980
Gender: Female
Expertise: Everything and absolutely nothing, all at the same time.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/17/2004
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| okay, so I may still throw some... mutterings... at this blog site, but for the most part, you'll find me and my travel journal at: iknowwhoholdstomorrow.blogspot.com | | |
| Well, there is really a lot to tell, considering the fact I haven't posted much about my life in a few months. But I'm just gonna put a teaser up here. I plan on travelling, and I'm moving to a blog that can handle photos a lot better than this one... yes, I'm being sucked into the black hole that is blogger, along with everyone else. I hate following the crowd! So yes, the blog is still in developmental phases and I'll tell you how to get there in a few weeks. :D | | |
| Expectations are the kind of thing that can really define our lives, right from the moment we are conscious of the world around us. As children, we have this tendency to believe or expect that the world as we know it will continue on in just the same way forever. We believe our family will always stay together, we have no concept of dying, and everything a grown-up says must be right and true.
I think faith and expectations are very closely linked. To have faith like a child is to expect things, great things. They hear the stories of Jonah, of David and Goliath, Noah, Moses (yes, I know they're out of order), and they truely believe in them. I believe them too, but I don't know that I believe as a child. To a child who hears the story of Noah for the first time, the next thunderstorm has the potential to flood the earth. They have the expectation that big things can happen, and they aren't too embarrassed to believe in the impossible, because no one has told them it's impossible. What would happen if we all got together and discussed the miracles of the bible and thought of them as children do... as possible. Not just believe that they happened, but really believe in the power of God to move in that way again. To "fear the Lord". We are a complacent nation, believing in science and predictable events. We explain away the miraculous, and ignore the possibilities. We pray and add "thy will be done" to avoid dissapointment when it doesn't come true, because we doubt God. We need to start expecting the unexpected.
Oh God, mighty and powerful, ruler of the nations,
Heal this land, this people, this arrogant group of believers.
Help each one of us to believe again in a new way
Open our eyes to the truths as only the little children can see them.
Open our minds to the possiblities
Let our expectations be exceeded only by your abilities.
We reach up our hands
in praise of a father
Who longingly gazes at us
Tears fill His eyes
For each one that denies
the truth that he died just to bring.
"he annoints my head with oil, my cup overflows"
God, annoint us, overflow our cups
that we may pass on your love and glory
That we might have boldness to step out amongst this land
And conquer our fears of the unknown.
Help us to fight against the powers and principalities of this world
Help us to believe in your power and authority as we learn to access it
Help us to fight the good fight
that only can be won through you.
Raise our expectations Lord, and guide us in Truth. | | |
| So, I'm reading this article on 6 figure jobs... because I'm curious what else is out there (as if I haven't had enough of school...) and this one comes up: A skilled typist who's willing to train intensely to get up to about 200 a minute will qualify to be a court reporter (What the???? 200, I didn't even think that was a possibility... can I speak that fast? 200... if I could type 60 wpm I'd be highly satisfied. Talk about carpel tunnel syndrome. I think I'll stick to my old fashioned hand-written charts for now, thank you very much!) Then they mention this other job and say: "they make over $30 an hour, which means six figures is possible with overtime." (In order to pull that off, they would need to work a minimum of 26 hours of overtime per week. That's... that's... way too much like a nursing schedule. I would never go from where I am to something else just as stressful just to make a few extra dollars. Nosiree-bob!) I've always enjoyed my summers, because I tend to find a new job each year, and I get to learn new things. I always had mental list of all the different jobs I wanted to try. I got the cash register job, the nanny job, the daycare job, the food service job (even if I quit after a week). I worked in a factory, in hospital, in people's homes. I still haven't worked as a flight attendant, or on a farm, or as a doctor (not sure that I'll ever bother with that one... too much school, too much responsibility). Still haven't written a book (which doesn't even have to be for money). So much life left to live... You know... it's kind of exciting now that I'm an RN. No worries about tuition, books, tests etc. I can go where I want to work... pretty much anywhere in the world. Almost too many options. First stop... Australia. Just cause I can. Then, who knows, depending on how long it takes me to pay off my loans. Perhaps I'll try and get a job up north for a year and make enough to get my loans paid off. Or maybe I just let myself sink deeper in debt. I don't think I need to worry about that right now. For now, I follow where the wind blows, and unless I run into a brick wall, I'm as free as a kite in a prairie sky. | | |
| Sigh,
My mind is in a really odd spot right now, and unless I let feelings flow I know I won't be able to sleep. This always seems like a great place to write things out, but all too often my thoughts and feelings are caught up in something to do with various friends/family, and for the sake of trust I can't truely explore the issues here. That's the problem with being trusted, it very often becomes a burden, even while it's an honour and something I will guard so long as it's healthy to do so. I hate gossip, always have, especially since I have been burned badly by it so many times. And for that reason, I make extra efforts to keep quiet what I don't feel people want others to know.
I recognize what an honour it is to have a friend divulge their honest, deep-down feelings... And I treasure that. But sometimes, knowing what they truely feel... can be the most heart-wretching thing you can experience. Sometimes because of empathy, sometimes because of feeling sorry for yourself. And then comes the crucial point... do you step forward to be just as honest in sharing how what they said made you feel, or do you tamp it down because it's their time to share, not yours? In some ways, that's doing them a disservice, to not reciprocate. In other ways, it may be protecting both of you.
We are very much creatures of habit. But even more than that, we like to have things figured out. We look very hard for patterns, and once we find one, expect things to continue in the same fashion. Even when it's a life pattern, one that we don't want to perpetuate, we still seem to think that in the end, that is exactly what will happen. Why is it that we think in such a self-defeating way? Perhaps all too often those predictions have continued to come true. Perhaps, we don't see this thought pattern as something that we need to turn over to God. It promotes a lot of worry, and it doesn't allow for God to work, as long as we expect the worst. I put on a brave face, and expect the worst, so I won't be dissapointed. But no matter how much I prepare myself, the worst still dissapoints me. So why not expect the best God can provide, even if it's never happened before? Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." If I can learn to truely trust in God, not in myself or others, my life will go the way HE wants it to, and I'll be content. Funny, it all comes back to trust again, doesn't it? | | |
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